Revathy

Gandhi Bhawan has around 70 kids. Some are orphans, some have their parents living in Gandhi Bhawan along with them, some have their parents leaving them there for one or the other reason. On the beginning of my second week, Revathy came there. A five year old girl, with extremely short hair, a small bindi on her forehead, in a very shiny frock.

I saw her and then moved ahead with my work of talking and getting to know the inmates. I was sitting at Meena Chechi's room where she lives along with her twin baby boys (Achu and Appu {1 yr olds}), when another Revathi brought this Revathy in. This Revathy was crying. NONSTOP! She won't listen to anybody. I didn't talk to her in the beginning. Was just observing her. Then I started to shout at her, to stop crying! :-| ( I know, that sounds pathetic.) And, as expected, she did NOT stop! :( But then, for a change, she just kept staring at me. She was staring into my eyes. I started ignoring her. Her volume came down. Whenever I looked at her, the volume would increase automatically. And then, I offered her a toffee. She did not take it. I continued ignoring her. After a few minutes I realized that she had stopped crying and was concentrating on some toys. I called her and asked about her. She wasn't ready to talk much. I was fine with it. Asked her if she wanted to study. And she again looked into my eyes, and nodded her approval. :)

I took her to my room and taught her a few letters in Malayalam.:) She was smiling, she was talking to me. Then I took her for dinner.

(In between would like to tell you her story too. :P  Revathy belonged to a broken family. She had her parents and an elder sister. Elder sister was staying with her Dad, and she was staying with her Mom. As it happened,  her mother got a job as a Home Nurse, and could not take Revathy along with her. So she left her daughter here, to be taken care of. I wasn't much fond of that lady, though. Perhaps, the day before, she tried to cut the nails on Revathy's fingers, and in the haste unknowingly did peel off some skin near the nails. And while she was leaving Revathy in Gandhi Bhawan, she tried to take off the gold earing Revathy was wearing. That pained a lot to Revathy. But that woman didn't give much heed to the tears at that time... Let us jump to my experience straightaway, or this article would become too depressing for me to handle!)

Hmmm... So, I took her to dinner and fed her with my hands as her hand was bruised. I could notice the eyes of other kids stuck on me and Revathy. Revathy was indeed looking privileged to them at that moment.

And then I left her at the common room for girls. She was to sleep with all other girls. She lied near the door, facing the main entrance.

I was on a call. And, while talking on the phone, I started walking towards my room. And just before I moved towards the turn, Revathy came running towards me asking me to stay in her eyesight. :) And I stayed there till she fell asleep.

The next day, she told me about herself. ( Same as above. :P ) And with the conclusion, "aa Beena enne ivide vittu." ( That Beena left me here). I asked who Beena was, and came the answer that Beena is my mother. I stared at her, trying to gain composure. And scolded her. Asked her to take the name of her mother respectfully. But, what shook me more was how that little heart was bruised. How much she hated her mother for leaving her. And that's bound to happen, I guess.

Afterwards, if she took her mother's name disrespectfully, a single look would be enough to make her call her mom *Beenaamma*. :P She was one innocent girl.

The trouble was that she preferred to hang out with me, rather than with kids of her age. And that actually made the people there also uncomfortable.

The point was that I was due to leave Gandhi Bhawan in 2-3 weeks. And in their eyes, if I actually deal with her in a special manner, that would actually make it difficult for them to deal with her, after I leave. And perhaps, me leaving might be more troublesome and painful for her. And from every corner, I started getting lectures on maintaining a distance with her.

At first, I ignored all of them! But slowly, they all were getting on my nerves. And I could even sense the difference in attitude of a few kids towards Revathy. So, one day, we both were taking a stroll. And I told that 5 year old girl that she should not anymore spend much time with me. She should play with the kids. I will leave soon. And as soon as I completed my lecture, the girl stood staring into my eyes. And trust me, that look was frightening! In the sense that I felt so guilty for what I said! After all, all that kid demanded from me was my presence, and she never asked anything from me. She loved me... I loved her too... So much so that, if I could, I would have definitely adopted her! But then, she had her parents. :). And she held on to my hands, so tightly, as if she didn't want me to leave her! And I told her, that I won't leave her.

And I lied...

The next day, I scolded her for no reason. Asked her to stay away from me. Not to talk to me. And she again, kept on staring into my eyes, and I left her, standing there. All alone...

Slowly, within a few days, she got used to the idea that I won't talk to her. She started mixing up with other kids. And then, one day, I heard her call a guy by some foul name. And I caught her by the arm and scolded her, again. What right did I have to do that, after all! Anyways, she didn't say a word to me. And I again left her there.

The next day, I saw Sreekutty (another 5 year old girl) feeding Revathy with hands. I asked her why Revathy was being treated like a V.I.P? And Sreekutty replied that she was suffering from fever. When I heard that, I dunno why, but I was in pain. But, I moved ahead.

Then, 3-4 days before I was going to leave, Ampadi Sir (Manager, Gandhi Bhawan) came upto me and said, "Revathy is again going dim... I thought of telling you this because, after all, you were the one from whom she got the motherly love when she came here. So, if you could help in any way, please do." When I heard this, I couldn't help but get angry at that poor soul. :-| The words came out instinctively. I said, " While I was handling with her in my way, it was the people here who had BIG problems with that! U people made me leave her alone! And now when she is back to square one, what makes you think that I will do anything?!!!" Ampadi Sir did not expect such a reaction, but then, he had to bear the brunt I had towards many others.

Then, I decided to get back to Revathy. I was happy. And by the time I found her, I also saw her mother standing near the gate, who had come there to take her back.

 I did not bid adieu to her. I was in my room. And, Revathy left...