The good old man.

That evening I was walking towards my dance class, when I saw this woman talking to the watchman in Malayalam. Asking him to bring 'the old man', who was crossing  the gate in front of her, back to her. And of course, the watchman in Delhi, the typical goorkha, didn't understand a single word. It was November end, hence a bit cold too. And the old man was wearing a dhoti and a ganji. I thought that the woman might be his daughter. And maybe, they were new in Delhi. The proud citizen that I am, I told the woman to *walk fast, and bring him back*. And perhaps, after that she was shocked to see me talking to her in malayalam, and was giving me the expressions the goorkha gave her.! :-|

I had to run (just to make the point here, I hate running :| )to get to the old man, and I stopped in front of him. And yes, he didn't stop even when I tried to stop him by blocking his way. The way our army men keep on marching at the parade ground on Republic Day, this man kept on marching towards I don't know where!  And again I had to run and shout, Appooppa(Grandpa)!!! That did make him look at me. I started marching with him. And asked him where he was headed, to which he answered like Revathy- *There* . :-|

To me, he was amusing. And yes, by that time, I did realise that the woman trying to make him stop was his maid. I told him, " Arre!! You have to rush back! Didn't you hear those people in the huge car, waiting there for you?" To which he stopped on the way, looked back, and asked like a child of 5, " There are people waiting for me?"
[What's wrong with kids and Old aged people?? Why do they have to look deep into your eyes while asking such complicated questions? ]
I had to blink and then tell him, "yeah of course!! They are waiting for you."

And we started moving towards his home. The maid was giving me directions, and telling me that she is not supposed to unlock the doors, or else, he tries to get out of house.  And when we were just a block away from his house, a Qualis came in our direction and he halted and waved at it, believing that to be the car I mentioned.  I immediately told him that's not the car. And I took him to his home. Luckily ground floor. And I asked the woman to take him into the house. She looked at me, and said, he won't come with me.

And again, there I was, trying to fool that old man, by telling him, "Oh see! They waited for you so long and got tired and are waiting for you in the house. Go and tell them to come out and take you for a long drive." He looked at me. And believed what I said. With hesitation he tried to see whether he could see those waiting for him in the house, without stepping inside. But I urged him, and he went in. And the maid ran into the house and spat! Locked it. And the man, yelled! Asked me to open the door for him, and , then as if, he understood, that he could not get out now, he walked away...

And, I stood there for a few moments. And then, had to walk back towards my dance class. I was already late.  To me that was kind of a flashback. Something similar happened at Gandhi Bhawan.

I did see that man sometimes. Well... Lost in himself, most of the times. In white shirts, most of the times. The shirts had brown dots and marks, evidently the sign of dead bed-bugs. *goosebumps*. One day. I was at the office. And he came there with his suitcase ( a rugged one). And said, he wanted to meet the Secretary. He wanted to meet his daughters. He is no more ready to bear with a life of an orphan. he has to go.

Nothing new. :) Happens all the time.

I went to him, and told him the Secretary was not there. He had gone out ( a lie, again.). And, nope. This wasn't enough a bait for him. :) He didn't buy that and stood there, and said, " I shall wait for him.". Okay.  I said, " Oh sure... You can wait. definitely. Why don't we both sit down, talk a bit, and then, I'll take you to the office and show you that Somarajan Sir( the secretary) is actually not here." He nodded and placed his suitcase on his side and sat at the bench and I started asking all kinds of non-sense questions. "When did you come here? Why did you come here? Do you like this place? Do you like the people here? Do you like the food? blah blah blah." And the man, sat silently, not even looking at me. Looked like I was talking to the pillar behind him, and he was waiting for his call. :-|


When I heard the engine of the ambassador, I understood that Somarajan Sir had actually left, and I told him, "Okay! Now, let us go to the office. But, if you don't see Somarajan Sir, you will go back to your dorm. okay?" Again he didn't say anything,  and walked ahead of me into Somarajan Sir's cabin, and noticing his absence, without saying anything else, came out of there and again decided to sit and wait for him. I insisted on him leaving the office and moving to the dorm. But he was adamant!

That was not irritating but cute. And he was like a baby. I told him, if he didn't move, I would steal his suitcase. :P And to which he replied-"I DARE YOU" ! X-(
Wohoo!! :P heheh.. I picked up the suitcase and held it with me. And asked him, if he was ready to come with me. He was amused at my act and still persisted on not moving from there. :-| And I told him that if he didn't move I would not leave him. :P :P :P That did the trick. He stood up and started moving out. I kept on tailing behind him. Now he was irritated and started complaining to the medical in-charge there that I was bothering him. :P No avail there too, for him.

And slowly he moved towards his dorm. I placed the suitcase under his bed. And after I came out of the room, he came after me and asked me if I knew to write or not. I affirmed and he asked me to write the names of his three daughters in a crumpled pocket diary he was carrying. I obliged.
After that we used to meet quite often. He was like a baby. Always asking for the same thing. He wanted to meet his daughters, who never wanted to meet him.

I guess, it was the month of November 2010, when from the Sneharajyam magazine of Gandhi Bhawan I got to know about the demise of the good old man, Naanu Pillai (for me Naanu-appuppan). His last wish was to meet his daughters, who needed nothing more than his property and money. They did not turn up to meet him before his death.

They say in malayalam, "Innu njan, naale nee." (If today it's me, tomorrow it'll be you). You get what you give.

By december 2010, the old man who lived near my place also expired. Both of them were unique. Both of them had kids who did not have time for them. I know people say that in the fast moving city life, to slow down for an old life is difficult and people should understand that. What I say is that I don't understand as to why one cannot slow down a bit for the life who gave you life, at least!!!

As is illustrated in William Shakespeare's 'All the world's a stage',
              ".. Last scene of all,
               That ends this strange eventful history,
               Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
                Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

That's when they need love and compassion more than ever. They are hungry for the same, and if children fail to provide the same, they fail themselves above all. Pity the conscience that is not moved by the plight of the unloved ones...

Ente Sundarikku... (To my beautiful...)

I asked -Kaanana chaayayilaadu meykkaan, Njanum varatteyo ninte koode...??
To which came the reply--- *Porenda porenda chandrike nee, aaranya chaarthilekkente koode*  :) :)


She was the most graceful woman I had ever seen in my life... 83 year old Bhargaviyamma. A retired teacher, she was. Mother of a Malayalam serial and cinema actor. She was an inmate of Gandhi Bhawan. Before you cook up anything on domestic cruelty, just a clarification, that nothing of that sort had happened. Her physical unfitness, diseases, and her inability to do anything without the help of a second person disturbed her a lot. And she forced her son to bring her to Gandhi Bhawan. At first her demand was met with denial, but my Teacheramma forced her way out. She didn't want to be a liability on her son and his family in her last years. 


Anyways, there wasn't even a single day in my Gandhi Bhawan life when I would have missed to visit her, except for the day when I fell ill, terribly. That day, Sumathiyamma (Teacheramma's roommate) bumped into my room on the directions of my Sundari! :P 


She had beautiful hazel eyes... Her smile could lighten up my whole day. She used to enlighten me on various literary works like Chandaala bhikshuki, Abhijnanashaakunthalam, etc... 83 is of course a young age to remember a lot of things.. :-P   But my loving Sundari used to put a lot of effort in trying to remember what she had learnt and taught, to clear my doubts. :)


We used to sing various Malayalam songs for each other! :) That was our favourite timepass... 
I used to simply love her company.  I used to tease her by calling her Sundari (Beautiful) all the time. And she used to BLUSH! :D 


Oh god!! :) She was indeed very pretty... And her cheeks used to get all this red colour from, I dunno where! 


There are so many things I wish to write about her, in here.. And I can't believe this much piece has taken more than two and a half months for me.

Her son called me up, I guess, on 30th of september. And informed me about her demise that took place on I guess, 26th September. 


Since the Gandhi Bhawan experience, whenever I think of going to Kerala, Gandhi Bhawan comes as one of the major reasons for my prospective visit. And whenever I used to think of Gandhi Bhawan, I could never imagine a Gandhi Bhawan without my Sundari... We used to talk on phone too. I had, I don't know what to call it, privilege?, of talking to her just 3-4 days before she died. But that wasn't much of a talk either. She was very ill. But she did recognise my voice. 


She too was like a kid to me! :) hahaha.. when I used to scold her for not coming out of her room, she used to sit like a 5 year old, with her eyes gazing into mine, and with a sly smile to make me cool down.

I miss her... 

Special someone

Gandhi Bhawan has given me such beautiful memories to savor all my life. And one such sweet memory is of Nansu. When I visited Gandhi Bhawan she was just 7 months old. The then youngest member of Gandhi Bhawan.


When I look back at my Gandhi Bhawan memories, she is the fondest of them all. :) The most beautiful of them all. My Nansu. I used to call her Asmi. So, hereinafter, I will refer to her as Asmi only. :) 

Born to Rejeena, a street prostitute, Asmi had two elder siblings, a brother and a sister. She was brought to Gandhi Bhawan when she was just 20 days old. I don't remember much of the details of her story now. Rejeena, her mother, wasn't very fond of Asmi, and because of her lack of care towards the child, the case of newborn being ill-treated by her family hit the news headlines, and soon thereafter Gandhi Bhawan adopted the whole family, and brought Asmi home. 


Everyone remembers the 20 odd days old Asmi as a rat in one's palm. Nobody believed that she would survive. The experienced mothers themselves didn't even want to touch her--  the baby was so sensitive.


At that time, Ponnamma, a blind woman who was managing her own old mother and two girls paralyzed beneath the waist, came forward and took initiative in taking care of Asmi.


Anyways, my story with Asmi begins from the day I entered Gandhi Bhawan ( when she was just 6 and a half months old). Day 1 when I saw her, she was asleep in her bed, right next to Ponnamma's mum. And, I being a person who loves active kids, didn't have much of an impression of that baby in me. I didn't even notice the presence of that baby. She was in my own building. Her room being the one below mine. 


The day after I asked Revathy to stay away from me, I was not much in a mood to do my usual work of meeting and getting to know the inmates. I took a break and was returning to my room when accidentally my eyes caught the presence of a princess downstairs... 


The seven month old baby just jumped onto my arms when I called her... without any inhibition... with a gentle smile... I still have that scene in mind, as fresh as it was ever...


My Asmi's world was that room, with ponnamma, Biji, Sandhya and Ponnamma's mother, and the daily visitors to Gandhi Bhawan who used to visit her, just to know about the survival story of a baby whose mother disliked her... Of course, later on, I got to know that Ponnamma was given specific instructions not to let Asmi go out anywhere, so that when the visitors come, they don't miss out on her ( like an animal in zoo!).


That day, the day I *noticed* her, I asked for Ponnamma's permission to let me take her out of that room... 


I went back to that room in the evening and took Asmi out for the rounds of Gandhi Bhawan. :) The Mothers there were all astounded at the sight. One of them came upto me and said, "When you came here, I didn't notice any baby... When did this happen?? How long have you been here??" (HAHAHA) To which I replied, "Everything happened so fast... Didn't get time, to notify you..." . Anyways, after 2 seconds of delivering shock, I told her that she is Rejeena's daughter, who is being taken care of by Ponnamma. 


Let me tell you one thing. That Mother wasn't the only one with that doubt. Nobody knew who the baby was. And everybody connected her with me. :) And I had to keep repeating the fact that she was Rejeena's daughter. To which I was again treated with surprise. Very less people  knew that the baby had survived.  And a much less number knew that she was still in Gandhi Bhawan with Ponnamma.

It became a routine thereafter... Every evening. A stroll of Gandhi Bhawan with Asmi. The number of strolls increased. Every afternoon and every evening. Thereafter any time of the day. She got used to me. And the day I fell ill, I didn't go to her, and I could hear her cry till my room.. :(


She used to easily fall asleep to my humming of Omanathinkal kidaavo... Nalla komala thaamara poovo... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzvCNrbLZ9A


And used to love listening to aayiram kannumaayi and Kannaam thumbi poraamo with a zeal. :) She used to smile a lot after she started going out. Apprehensions started setting in her. She started becoming a bit more stubborn, that was cute...


Anyways, steadily, people there actually started calling me Asmi's mother. And I was happy to know that. But my growing closeness with Asmi wasn't welcomed happily by Rejeena. She started visiting Asmi more and more. I am still not sure, whether I was supposed to be happy about it or not. Anyways, my reaction was neutral. And in my mind, Asmi's mother was Ponnamma. 


The thought of leaving Asmi pierced my heart. I miss her so much. I love her so very much. This baby girl, led me... She encouraged me all the more to definitely have a daughter as a part of my life... My princess...


Memories of the days when she used to fall asleep on my lap or on my mattress... Time simply used to flow out of my hands while I used to just look at her tiny hands, her expressions... She was so cute! 


And yes, of course, like any other baby, she used to pee on my lap, and attend other calls of nature too. But she was never a nuisance. She used to love tea... :P And Parle G. :) And like me, she used to love attention too... :P


She truly was my princess... :) 



The day I was to leave Gandhi Bhawan, 15th July 2010, I remember taking her for the last time in my lap. She was ready to go out with me. But with a kiss on her cheeks, I handed her back to Ponnamma and started dragging my suitcase, leaving the area. When I turned back, there was an apprehensive expression on my baby's face, and her hands were held out...








The latest I got to know about her when I called Gandhi Bhawan was that, by the time Ramzan arrived, the community people came, and took back Rejeena and her whole family including Asmi with them to take care of them personally.

Ente ormayil poothu ninnoru manja mandaarame...
Ennil ninnum parannakannoru jeeva chaitanyame...

Revathy

Gandhi Bhawan has around 70 kids. Some are orphans, some have their parents living in Gandhi Bhawan along with them, some have their parents leaving them there for one or the other reason. On the beginning of my second week, Revathy came there. A five year old girl, with extremely short hair, a small bindi on her forehead, in a very shiny frock.

I saw her and then moved ahead with my work of talking and getting to know the inmates. I was sitting at Meena Chechi's room where she lives along with her twin baby boys (Achu and Appu {1 yr olds}), when another Revathi brought this Revathy in. This Revathy was crying. NONSTOP! She won't listen to anybody. I didn't talk to her in the beginning. Was just observing her. Then I started to shout at her, to stop crying! :-| ( I know, that sounds pathetic.) And, as expected, she did NOT stop! :( But then, for a change, she just kept staring at me. She was staring into my eyes. I started ignoring her. Her volume came down. Whenever I looked at her, the volume would increase automatically. And then, I offered her a toffee. She did not take it. I continued ignoring her. After a few minutes I realized that she had stopped crying and was concentrating on some toys. I called her and asked about her. She wasn't ready to talk much. I was fine with it. Asked her if she wanted to study. And she again looked into my eyes, and nodded her approval. :)

I took her to my room and taught her a few letters in Malayalam.:) She was smiling, she was talking to me. Then I took her for dinner.

(In between would like to tell you her story too. :P  Revathy belonged to a broken family. She had her parents and an elder sister. Elder sister was staying with her Dad, and she was staying with her Mom. As it happened,  her mother got a job as a Home Nurse, and could not take Revathy along with her. So she left her daughter here, to be taken care of. I wasn't much fond of that lady, though. Perhaps, the day before, she tried to cut the nails on Revathy's fingers, and in the haste unknowingly did peel off some skin near the nails. And while she was leaving Revathy in Gandhi Bhawan, she tried to take off the gold earing Revathy was wearing. That pained a lot to Revathy. But that woman didn't give much heed to the tears at that time... Let us jump to my experience straightaway, or this article would become too depressing for me to handle!)

Hmmm... So, I took her to dinner and fed her with my hands as her hand was bruised. I could notice the eyes of other kids stuck on me and Revathy. Revathy was indeed looking privileged to them at that moment.

And then I left her at the common room for girls. She was to sleep with all other girls. She lied near the door, facing the main entrance.

I was on a call. And, while talking on the phone, I started walking towards my room. And just before I moved towards the turn, Revathy came running towards me asking me to stay in her eyesight. :) And I stayed there till she fell asleep.

The next day, she told me about herself. ( Same as above. :P ) And with the conclusion, "aa Beena enne ivide vittu." ( That Beena left me here). I asked who Beena was, and came the answer that Beena is my mother. I stared at her, trying to gain composure. And scolded her. Asked her to take the name of her mother respectfully. But, what shook me more was how that little heart was bruised. How much she hated her mother for leaving her. And that's bound to happen, I guess.

Afterwards, if she took her mother's name disrespectfully, a single look would be enough to make her call her mom *Beenaamma*. :P She was one innocent girl.

The trouble was that she preferred to hang out with me, rather than with kids of her age. And that actually made the people there also uncomfortable.

The point was that I was due to leave Gandhi Bhawan in 2-3 weeks. And in their eyes, if I actually deal with her in a special manner, that would actually make it difficult for them to deal with her, after I leave. And perhaps, me leaving might be more troublesome and painful for her. And from every corner, I started getting lectures on maintaining a distance with her.

At first, I ignored all of them! But slowly, they all were getting on my nerves. And I could even sense the difference in attitude of a few kids towards Revathy. So, one day, we both were taking a stroll. And I told that 5 year old girl that she should not anymore spend much time with me. She should play with the kids. I will leave soon. And as soon as I completed my lecture, the girl stood staring into my eyes. And trust me, that look was frightening! In the sense that I felt so guilty for what I said! After all, all that kid demanded from me was my presence, and she never asked anything from me. She loved me... I loved her too... So much so that, if I could, I would have definitely adopted her! But then, she had her parents. :). And she held on to my hands, so tightly, as if she didn't want me to leave her! And I told her, that I won't leave her.

And I lied...

The next day, I scolded her for no reason. Asked her to stay away from me. Not to talk to me. And she again, kept on staring into my eyes, and I left her, standing there. All alone...

Slowly, within a few days, she got used to the idea that I won't talk to her. She started mixing up with other kids. And then, one day, I heard her call a guy by some foul name. And I caught her by the arm and scolded her, again. What right did I have to do that, after all! Anyways, she didn't say a word to me. And I again left her there.

The next day, I saw Sreekutty (another 5 year old girl) feeding Revathy with hands. I asked her why Revathy was being treated like a V.I.P? And Sreekutty replied that she was suffering from fever. When I heard that, I dunno why, but I was in pain. But, I moved ahead.

Then, 3-4 days before I was going to leave, Ampadi Sir (Manager, Gandhi Bhawan) came upto me and said, "Revathy is again going dim... I thought of telling you this because, after all, you were the one from whom she got the motherly love when she came here. So, if you could help in any way, please do." When I heard this, I couldn't help but get angry at that poor soul. :-| The words came out instinctively. I said, " While I was handling with her in my way, it was the people here who had BIG problems with that! U people made me leave her alone! And now when she is back to square one, what makes you think that I will do anything?!!!" Ampadi Sir did not expect such a reaction, but then, he had to bear the brunt I had towards many others.

Then, I decided to get back to Revathy. I was happy. And by the time I found her, I also saw her mother standing near the gate, who had come there to take her back.

 I did not bid adieu to her. I was in my room. And, Revathy left...

Gaanapriyan Tales (Part- 2)

So, this man has indeed made a considerable impact on my internship. :) Well... Not everybody has such unique tales to tell, I guess.

As I have already mentioned, he was the universal Aliyan (Brother-in-law) in Gandhi Bhawan. From 90 year olds to 4 year olds, all used to call him Aliyan! :P Some even used to tease him by calling him *Kilavan* ( Old fella). He was torture personified for everybody. But for a few of us he was great entertainment. He definitely used to bore us, but then, sometimes, even getting bored becomes entertainment. ;-)

Just to make the point clear, I was not the only one with whom he made a fool of himself. With him all of us had  a different way of dealing with. He used to boast a lot! A LOT! And we used to fuel that boasting. :-P And everyone in the office used to do that.

For instance, his relative is the Manager of Gandhi Bhawan. He once told Gaanapriyan Sir, "I am going to be appointed as the Lt. Governor of Andaman and Nicobar Islands. I want to appoint you as the P.A. to me. We all will stay in the palace there."  :-| And, Gaanapriyan Sir bought it! He came up to me and shared the *great* news. And asked me if I was willing to live in palace. :-| ( Well... As a matter of fact, he never left the intention of marrying me :-| ) So, I told him, " I don't have such big dreams. My dream is of a small flat in Delhi, a small family. That's it." To which he politely replied, " My dream is also of a small flat in Delhi, a small family, that's it!"  :'( :'(

Then, once when we were talking, he said that he was looking for suitable jobs. I said, " Fine! U were a formal journalist, right? My university has one of the best Mass Communication faculties in Asia. I shall recommend you as the Dean. :) " The next day when I went to the office, Anoop Sir (General Manager of Gandhi Bhawan) said, "Look, you can definitely take him with you! Only one condition, don't you dare bring him back!"  I did not understand what he meant, at first. But when I saw Gaanapriyan  Sir in the vicinity, I understood everything. Till the day I was leaving Gandhi Bhawan, the office people literally haunted me with the idea of taking Gaanapriyan Sir with me! :-(

On another occasion, Radhakrishnan Chettan (Auto Driver) suggested him to become the Secretary of Ponnakkal Panchayat. :-|

Gaanapriyan Sir had these great visions! He wanted to set up an Advertising agency, with it's main office in Kottarakkara ( Kerala), and also it's branch in Delhi. He wanted me to do freelancing and canvasing from Delhi. Kotarakkara office was to be managed by Anoop Sir. When I asked about my salary, he said I would get commission- 10%. SO, if I canvas an advertisement worth a Crore, I could earn 10 Lakhs! And 10 advertisements, each worth a crore, in a year could actually make me a Crorepati! :-|

Also he wanted to start The Idea Bank. Not money, but a bank of ideas. Those in need of ideas could definitely approach the Idea Bank. :-P

In between, a Malayalam Serial Actor Mr. Yathikumar came to Gandhi Bhawan. His mother is an inmate there. Yathikumar Uncle also knows him and promised Gaanapariyan Sir roles in movies and serials. :-|

Anyways, Gaanapriyan Sir actually used to believe all that. And he still thinks that the Mass Communication faculty is indeed gonna send him an appointment letter for the post of Dean. And he thinks that I, Devu, am the reason behind all this fortune coming his way.

Sometimes, I used to feel that what we were doing was wrong. I mean, we were giving that poor chap false hopes. But then, all those false hopes brightened his days. He was happy... He was laughing because of them. He was positive so much so that he started the CHIRI CLUB (Laughter Club) where u perform funny acts and all.

He, of all people, very well knew and acknowledged the fact that many made fun of him. But to him, that hardly matters. And when I asked why, his answer was very simple- "They are jealous."  

You know, he actually never gave up the idea of marrying me. And I used to let that down in subtle ways. But then, slowly I let that go. If that 'hope' makes him happy, let him be happy. :) It wasn't harmful to me in any way. I am in Delhi. He is there. When I make a call to Gandhi Bhawan, I talk to him. And I know, that call matters a lot to him.

A lot of people knew that Gaanapriyan Sir was very fond of me. Vijayalakshmi chechi told Anoop Sir about the proposal also. By the end, even Secretary Sir  (P. Somarajan) knew about it (coz Gaanapriyan Sir himself went ahead and told him about it!). But the fact is, nobody tried to bring him out of that scene. Perhaps, they all thought that letting him stay there was a better option that forcing him out of it.

Day before yesterday, I made a call to Gandhi Bhawan. Talked with him too. And he said, "People here are teasing me with your name. But it's ok. I will call you when I go out."

After all, we should never deprive someone of hope... It may be all they have.